Golden rules of giving and receiving feedback

Feedback is the information we receive from our coworkers regarding our work, our behavior and our performance. It enables you to grow as a professional and as a person. Feedback makes it easier to reach your goals, boosts your self-awareness, and helps you understand others. Since 37% of managers are uncomfortable giving direct employee feedback, you also need to ask for it to actually get it.

A difference between feedback, praise, and a critic

Praise is a positive comment, that does not really bring you any value. It makes you feel good, but it does not have a real value in the future. Like in this case, you don’t know, what was great about the report.

“Your project report is great.”

Critique is a negative comment, that does not bring you any value. It makes you feel bad and it does not have a real value for the future. Like in the case bellow, you don’t know what exactly was bad and how can you improve it.

“Your project report is really bad.”

Feedback always gives you a concrete suggestion on how to improve something.

“Your project report is great. I loved the way you structured it, since it’s really clear. You could make it even better by shortening it. The introduction is a bit long.”

Golden rules of giving feedback

Everybody in the team is responsible to give feedback. If you do not give feedback, you are actually doing business damage. But it’s really important how you do it – otherwise, it can have the opposite effect.

• Positive purpose / you only give feedback, when you have positive intentions. If you come with negative energy while being angry at someone and your intention is to make yourself feel better by sharing negative comments, don’t give feedback.
• Prepare well / you can not give truly valuable feedback if you don’t prepare well and truly think how will you spread the message.
• Focus on behavior / it is important that you don’t feedback someone’s personality. We always focus on a specific behavior. (Instead of saying “you are unprofessional” be more specific and say “you are late 3 out of 5 times a week which makes me lose trust in you”).
• Don’t exaggerate (avoid using words such as always & never. Because we tend to exaggerate when we are bothered by someone’s behavior).
• Speak only in your name (don’t generalize or involve other team members. Use “I feel / I think” sentences instead “We feel / we think”, because placing team blame will not have a positive effect on a person accepting feedback and hearing what you are saying).
• Pick an appropriate time (think about the other person and the state they are in. During a tight deadline or times of personal trouble it’s best to wait. Otherwise always give feedback as soon as possible).
• Pick an appropriate place: praise in public, criticize in private.
• Follow up: observe the behavior of a person and when you notice that he/she implemented your feedback, praise them for it – it is very motivating.

Golden rules of receiving feedback

• Be open (ask for feedback as often as you can and be open, when someone approaches you with feedback).
• Active listening and clarity (try to understand what the other person is saying, ask questions, ask for specific examples if they are not given, so that making a plan for a change in your behaviour will be easier).
• Accept the feedback (don’t search for excuses, like we often do, listen, think about it and try to accept it. You don’t have to agree with everything people say, but it’s worth listening).
• Make a change (feedback was given to you with a purpose, that you will change something about your behaviour – try do work on it).
• Be grateful (say thank you to the person that gave you feedback – he/she actually took the time and he/she cares enough for you, that he/she wishes you to change).